Why We Need to Talk About Hard Things

Shying away from difficult topics won’t make them go away.

Chrissy Teigen lost her son. Meghan Markle had a miscarriage. Elliot Page is transgender. Jen Hatmaker got divorced. Each of these stories matters.

I have heard a lot of commentary from people, most likely ones that have never been in a situation like the aforementioned folks, saying that people don’t need to tell everyone these parts of their lives. I wholeheartedly disagree. We absolutely need to talk about hard things. Often.

Before I go on I want to make it clear, if you have never gone through what someone else has you have no right to pass judgment on them for how they handle grief or any struggle or obstacle in their life. It’s not your place.

It seems we still hold on to the idea that there are some topics and experiences that are too personal to be shared with others. Experiences that we need to hold deep down inside and hope that eventually, everything will be okay. Someday, we won’t think about it anymore.

We’re not solitary creatures and were never meant to be. I refuse to believe people are just unkind. I firmly believe that we’re all born empathetic people. It’s the world around us and the fear of our own pain that shut down our ability to empathize.

It’s completely natural when we go through something hard to be terrified of it. Showing our fear is excruciating. It leaves us exposed. We’re open to judgment. That fear often turns into projection which leads to that nasty comparative suffering I mentioned early.

It’s really easy for someone else who has buried their pain to see others outwardly discussing theirs and dismiss that person’s voice. It’s the old sentiment of “I got through the same thing just fine and I don’t understand why they can’t just get past it and move on.”

The answer is that these people didn’t actually get through it just fine. Shoving our…

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