What if You Told the Truth on Your First Date?

Humor

Your vacuum cleaner might thank you for it.

I have observed that we rarely tell the truth. I don’t mean the truth that exists in our day to day lives. I mean the absolute truth of who we are. The truth that lies buried beneath the light. The truth that wants to be told but has no invitation.

You wake up one morning and you find yourself lying beside a stranger. She’s a stranger because the darkness has finally surfaced. The early days of the relationship held so much promise. So much lightness and joy. That’s what she wanted you to see but the light has surrendered to the shadow.

It’s worse than you imagined. She has an avoidant attachment style. And without a professional diagnosis, you are also sure that she has an Oedipus complex. But the worst nightmare is that her long fallen hairs appear to be living organisms that are able to reproduce throughout your home. They incessantly attack the brushes of your vacuum cleaner, strangling its life force. It’s your worst nightmare. It’s your beloved Dyson V11 Torque drive with a 125,000 rpm motor and acoustic baffles.

We’ve all been there haven’t we?

But what if we could go back in time to that first date? What if we just told the truth of who we are? Would it save us from the heartbreak of having made the wrong choice in a partner? What if we didn’t have to buy an extended warranty for the Dyson?

I need to know.

I’m going to let you into one of the compartments of my mind. It is another dimension composed of pure speculation without any basis of logic or reason. It is a place that serves no purpose except to explore extraordinarily pointless ideas that have no potential to help humanity.

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