The reason Doctors keep a secret diary is because they are fallible.

A book review of This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay.

I currently work in Pathology, but my true ambition once upon a time was to become a Paediatrician. This career prospect was meant to combine my love for children as well as my fascination with the inner workings of the human body and it being in high stress situations, whether acute or chronic.

When I entered my degree to become a Scientist, I believed Pathology to be a good foundation and stepping stone into medicine. As I was learning about how the disciplines of pathology detect human diseases and I eventually secured a job in the industry I lost my interest in medicine. I always thought it was because I didn't want to study for that long (around 10+ years of study), but it was something far deeper than that — emotion.

Adam Kay is able to accurately describe the disorientating feeling of choosing your “forever career” straight out of school and then having to mature and navigate studying, medicine and balancing some semblance of a social life.

Adam Kay has cleverly utilised his Doctor’s diary from his years moving up the ranks as a Junior Doctor to demonstrate some fascinating experiences within a seemingly simple, sterile hospital in London. He is clearly an intelligent man beyond is scope as a doctor because he can truly make you feel what it’s like to work with every kind of employee (from brilliant to imbecile) to attending to every kind of patient (from mad to heart-warming). Through these hysterical accounts of his ward rounds, a subtle backdrop of a Doctor’s deep hidden emotions begin to come to the fore.

Patients unwittingly believe Doctors are infallible, they don’t get sick, they don’t have a family or other loved ones to get home to, don’t make mistakes and don’t have emotions. Each of these Adam Kay describes over a 6 year period, a relatively short time in most Doctors overall careers.

However you can feel an understated development in the book, Adam’s conscience begins to kick in. Finally the book ends with an event that shocks Adam to the core, makes him question his ability and ultimately his infallibility to the rigorous, gut-wrenching ventures of doctoring.

When this crescendo of the book hit me, I truly understood just what our Doctors and other health professionals do for us. They don’t just put their personal lives, their efficient brains and their bodies on the line. They surrender their innermost being, the necessities required to keep their mind and emotions on an even keel. It’s no wonder that some Doctors appear emotionless — it’s protection.

Adam demonstrates the sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make. This book needs to be read not only to understand what our Doctors and health care professionals choose to put themselves through but to understand your deepest self as to what you might be sacrificing.

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