your undivided attention to someone makes you match

Then, you see them glancing at their phone. Or you catch them looking around as if they wanted to see if there’s someone they know. Now you feel they’re not a hundred percent there with you. What seemed a great conversation at the beginning suddenly turns into a monologue because deep down, you feel they’re not really interested in what you have to say.

I don’t know about you, but when someone appreciates who I am, without judging my past or current choices, they earn my trust. Because I feel accepted as a whole, I feel they believe in me despite my imperfections and past mistakes.

The point is this: you can be the best listener in the world, but a slip like quickly checking your phone or breaking eye contact too frequently can make you come across as indifferent or unfocused on the conversation.

A: Last year the Trump administration finalized a rule to allow year-round sales of gasoline blended with 15 percent ethanol. Previous administrations banned the use of higher blend ethanol throughout the busy summer driving season because of a technicality despite being environmentally friendly, removing E-15 as a choice for consumers at the pump. The Trump administration stands by its commitment to biofuels and is continuing to cut regulatory tape, expand consumer choice and help farmers. President Trump recently gave the green light to the states to allow retailers to use their 10-percent ethanol pumps for the 15-percent blend. Previously, federal regulations required a cost-prohibitive investment for retailers to install new fuel storage tanks before they could sell E-15 at the pump. In other welcome news, the U.S. Trade Representative announced Brazil will extend the tariff rate quota for U.S. ethanol sales. The 90-day extension will allow tariff-free access to its markets. The agreement will allow 198 million gallons of ethanol into the country duty-free. Brazil was the largest U.S. ethanol export market last year, purchasing 332 million gallons of U.S.-produced ethanol. As I’ve repeated many times for many decades, I’ll continue championing biofuels every chance I get. Biofuels are good, good, good for America’s economy, environment and energy security.When it comes to a simple conversation, no one likes to talk to someone who barely listens or frequently interrupts. However, many have the habit of letting their phone distract them, talking over you, or redirecting the talk to themselves.Imagine you’re talking to someone who seems to be paying attention to every word coming out of your mouth. They nod and seem interested in what you have to say. They don’t talk over you, and sometimes they ask questions — which makes you think they’re truly absorbed in the conversation. You might think, “Wow, this person is genuinely interested in what I’m saying. We’re on the same page!”

An article published in Forbes confirms the feeling many of us know already: being present is essential for developing rapport with someone. And it can transform not only our interpersonal relationships but also ourselves, as it trains our brain to stay focused.

For example, the following article by Martin Rushton talks about how to publish your work to KDP when it’s ready. And it’s not a bleak copy of the KPD user manual, but his own attempt to get his book out. It includes all the failures and good old 20/20 hindsight.

I find that when you resist the urge to make fast judgments, you open yourself to the possibility of developing meaningful relationships. Because, with time, people feel they can be themselves around you, as they feel accepted for who they are.

And many people are eager to offer you some advice. Some tell you what worked for them. Some tell you what didn’t work. Some have accomplishments to show off, others haven’t quite hit that milestone yet, but they enjoy sharing their endless wisdom with you anyways.

Put your phone away — if possible, where you can’t see it, like in your bag or in another room — and focus on the people who are there with you. As Kare Anderson explains in an article in Harvard Business Review, to make a conversation more meaningful and pleasant, gaze steadily and warmly at the person talking to you, nod from time to time, and reiterate what you heard.

Understand that you don’t always know what’s behind other people’s actions and decisions. So, always make an effort to empathize with others whenever you’re about to make a fast judgment about them.

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